You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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