Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
