Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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