I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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