Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
