HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
