Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
