You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
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