it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
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On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
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You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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