i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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