so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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