so that wasnt chicken after all
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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