dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
