We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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