i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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