So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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