So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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