were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
