im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
