he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
