My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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