i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
