I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
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The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.