Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.