And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.