I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
