I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?