you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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