I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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