4 words: hood of his car
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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