PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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