Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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