i'm signing you up for texting rehab
another moral hangover. fuck.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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