yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
