I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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