his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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