Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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