my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
