I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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