gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
