My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
