Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
