So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
