I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Drunk is a universal language darling
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
