seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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