Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
