there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize