There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
