drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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