I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
