I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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