PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
