Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
