Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm always down for nudity.
Shame - the story of my life.
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