I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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