Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
