why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
