So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
