Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
