So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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